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May 13, 2011 / Nick

I Can – Blue


Oh crikey! It’s Eurovision time again.
It seems like only yesterday that Josh Dubovie was shimmying around to an unused Steps B-side while dressed as Carphone Warehouse Essex & Hertfordshire Regional Salesman of the Year. Last year’s UK entry came away in last place with 10 points, so the UK have decided to try to reverse their fortune this year (which is becoming something of a Eurovision mantra) by sending in the big guns with the newly reformed Blue, who are back from their 6-year long ‘year out’ from music.

Where the hell have Blue been?

Simon Webbe
Made some Lighthouse Family-esque songs presumably to cash in on the sofa advert music market. Kept the bailiffs away by eating a bollock or something on ‘I’m A Celebrity…‘.

Lee Ryan
Assaulted a cab driver in Surrey – £300 fine. Had a child named Rayn Ryan – No fine.

Duncan James
Sang that song from The Woman in Black (or possibly The Woman in White. One of those), ‘danced’ on ice, played a fictionalised version of himself in a Channel 4 sitcom, pushed the button that isn’t connected to anything on the National Lottery more times than one can count and presented a quiz show set on rollercoasters for reasons known only to the production company.

Anthony Costa
2005 – probably fished a polystyrene star out of rats’ intestines on ‘I’m a Celebrity…‘. 2006 – came second to Daz Sampson in Eurovision: Making Your Mind Up. 2009 – played Jack in Jack & The Beanstalk at the Ipswich Regent. 2011 – urinated at the cash dispenser of Trafalgar Square Post Office.

Because there are only so many of them who can do 'I'm A Celebrity...' before it becomes a somewhat tragic joke.

Now that they are back, fans of Blue may be pleased to hear that the guys have stuck to their familiar format. Simon Webbe does some low bits, Lee Ryan does some high bits, Duncan James does some whispery bits and Anthony Costa shuffles around earning just as much money as the rest of them.

In all seriousness, this might be the UK’s best shot at a Eurovision win in years as this year’s ‘okay but pretty forgettable track’ is sung by a Europe-wide renowned group who can probably handle performing to a big audience in Germany. So best of luck to Blue. Let’s hope they can bring the UK a win that will no doubt do wonders for the economy, or whatever gain we’re meant to get by winning an international songwriting competition. Nobody’s quite sure. In fact, I think it might be a book token…

Review: Blue cheese is as good as any cheese.
6/10

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One Comment

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  1. ladymoomcr / May 14 2011 12:15 am

    hahaha – “Anthony Costa shuffles around earning just as much money as the rest of them”

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