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December 3, 2010 / Nick

Mandle Candle


In the final days of High Street giant Woolworths, you couldn’t walk through the shop without being bombarded from all angles by the friendly, dulcet tones of the JML voiceover man blaring from one of the always-on TV displays. You can still hear him on daytime TV ad breaks and from JML displays in all good tat retailers like Robert Dyas and Homebase.

I think his defining moment comes in this advert where he proposes an interesting riddle – ‘when is a candle more than a candle?’. There are more answers than you may think.

Other acceptable answers for when a candle can be more than a candle

  • When it’s a fork handle.
  • When it’s a novelty birthday candle which doesn’t go out.
  • When it’s a candle shaped like the Virgin Mary.
  • When it’s a candle shaped like male genitalia.
  • When it’s a Roman candle.
  • When it’s a visual token used in a teen movie to show that he’s not a jerk and she won’t just give it out to anybody on a plate and both are aware of the potential consequences, but nevertheless ‘ready’.
  • When it’s a stick of dynamite.
  • When it’s part of a Chinese lantern.
  • When it’s the talking French candelabrum Lumière from the 1991 Walt Disney film Beauty and the Beast.
  • When it’s part of a food warmer used at a catered event or restaurant.
  • When it’s tinder for use at a campfire or arson attempt.

Review: It’s a candle. End of.
4/10

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